In order to perform legal marriages in the state of Hawaii you must be registered (at the department of heath). Without reopening the debate about whether clergy should be the representatives of the state in marriages (or, heck, why not… if y'all want to debate, debate away), I decided I'd better go ahead and register.
Registration involves taking a letter from your church (in this case the diocese) stating that you are authorized to do weddings. My letter came from the diocese mid-week last week. Since I was headed downtown anyway on Friday I decided to go early and get it all wrapped up.
So I parked at the diocesan offices here and walked the block to the state capitol, where I thought this was to happen. After wandering around the ground floor a while I realized that there wasn't any way in… I finally found an elevator and figured it was worth a try (it felt a bit like entering some sort of secret underground bunker with just an elevator). I got off at the floor marked "departments," and wandered until I found a helpful woman in the office of the governor. She directed me "across the street" to the department of health building.
So I crossed the street, realized I'd crossed the wrong street, and crossed again. There it was in front of me, the hallowed halls of health! On the front door there was a sign: "All Visitors Must Sign In." The sign was repeated at least twice in the lobby. There was, however, no one behind the desk. There wasn't even anyone official looking in the lobby. Nor was there a clipboard or other means to sign in. So I poked my head beyond the lobby and spotted a security guard. I explained why I was there, and she very helpfully guided me to the right room. Never, I might add, asking if I'd signed in.
I walked up to the desk, got the attention of a clerk, and stated my intentions. She was, however, already married. Um, hang on… My intention to register, that is. She took the letter, examined it, and stated, "Oh, I'm sorry, I can't take this. It is a copy, a Xerox. I must have original."
"Um, ma'am," said I, "that is the original as far as I know. It is the letter they sent to me. I haven't copied it."
"They sent a Xerox then," said she. "Perhaps I will call. Who should I ask for?"
So I gave her the name of the Bp's assistant, and she dialed and chatted for some time. Finally she said, "She